Over time I began to notice that I did not like most of
the ways of this woman. Why do I continue to do things to
try and make her so happy when most of the time I feel
worse than I did before doing anything for her? When I
needed her, often time, she was not there for me. I never
said no to her; whatever she needed or wanted from me,
no matter how inconvenient it was for me, I did and gave
it. She had no problem telling me no and that she could
not or would not do something for me, no matter how
desperate I was and how badly I said I needed it.
What is wrong with me? I began to notice that I was
more of a friend to this woman than she would ever be to
me and I didn’t like it very much when in reality, I was so
addicted to validation, until I thought that the more I did
for her, the more she will validate me. When she did not
validate me, I felt let down, disappointed, for lack of better
phrase, needy. So wait a minute, are you sure I have a
friend?
Excerpt from Moment of Clarity
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