Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Definition: Love Addict

"Painful attention, which is the attention that will result
in negative consequences, was normal to me. Although I
did not like the consequence of suffering, at least the pain
was always consistent. “Pain” could always be counted
on to arrive at my door and I would more than willingly
receive it with open arms. So why would I waste my time
waiting on good things to come in my life when I was the
only one always standing myself up and leaving me out to
dry? So I dated “Pain” for years. In the beginning “Pain”
hurt me but, like most relationships, you get used to it
and become numb to its negative antics.

Like a battered woman, I was in an abusive relationship
with “Pain.” Even though I didn’t like the name calling,
the punishment, or the spankings from my mother I was
mentally bound and couldn’t leave. Like a kidnapped child
with Stockholm syndrome, I developed a bond with my
captor called “Pain”. I became its Bonnie and it was my Clyde."

excerpt from Moment of Clarity

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I love God first....period!